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Several of the readers of the Oak have become close personal friends. Their support has helped me more than I can express. The love and support that the readers, in general, have given me have been amazing. I thank all of you.I don’t want to give this illness one bit of credit for anything but it’s destructiveness in my life. I have learned there are levels of pain that I never knew or even dreamed existed. I learned how a disability changes the way people perceive you. I know what it is to be pushed past the point of giving up. A place where you pray to die and mean it. I have been humbled and humiliated. It’s horrible.While it has wreaked havoc in my life I did manage to see some good and learn a few things. It is easier for me to be around disabled people now, especially those who are autistic because we are more similar than not. Simple pleasures are very important. When your mind is cotton or a piece of taffy somebody is pulling it’s hard to focus on a goal that is a year down. It wasn't easy to talk about serious matters in that noisy bar, so Madeleine suggested going to the piano bar at her hotel two blocks away. I agreed but when we got there after our short walk, we found out that bar was very crowded too. Therefore I agreed going to her room for a drink from the minibar.We fixed our drinks and Madeleine began to talk about her marriage, which was in deep crisis because she had happened to catch her husband together with one of her best friends at her summerhouse. She had immediately put the summerhouse up for sale and the previous day she had gotten a message from her broker that she was offered a much higher price than she had dared to expect. She still loved her husband and he was a very good father to their two children, so she wasn't going to divorce him but wanted to give him a memorable lesson.One drink later when I was finished my story about how my wife suddenly and without telling me the reason lost all interest in sex with me, I looked.
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